The Labour Party Conference . . . ugghh. We know how desperate Brown is to distance himself from former-comrade-turned-psychotic-war-criminal, but were we really prepared to see him prostitute the party in such a shameless fashion?

Gordon, to use his regional vernacular, has become a hooer.

Hardly a speech goes by without some vaguely-reassuring promise to do something about an issue Labour have spectacularly fucked up over the past decade. There's barely a demographic group left in the country that hasn't had a warm word and conspiratorial nod from their new "homie", Mr Brown.

Yesterday saw a new strata of barrel-scraping. I've no doubt that John Smeaton, (baggage handler and anti-terrorist 2nd row at Glasgow Airport) deserves proper recognition and acclaim for his actions. But Poster Boy for Labour? For fuck's sake.

I have it on good authority (from someone at the same Polytechnic at the time) that a current Tory MP once got down on his knees and begged for votes at a student debate whilst at college. Disgusting though that sounds, it at least has a degree of honesty, albeit of a slimy and toadying sort.

Sadly, the Zen emptiness of Brown's latest promises seemingly go unadulterated . . . DeCaemonium's at least, are starting to be punctuated by the sound of sharpening knives the further he trails in the polls. Time again, it seems, for the favourite bloodsport of the Tory Party: the annual fratricidal leadership challenge!

The Libdems continue putting policy out in the open, but without popular support all that will happen is the juggling of a few seats here and there, and anything with substance gets recycled & spun-dried into the manifestos of the parties that originally condemned it.

As for the electorate. they will line up once more after ten years of systematic abuse and, like a beaten spouse, be prepared to forgive, start again and incidentally subscribe to another few years of being clubbed senseless.