The UK originally opposed stricter imports on birds as it felt it was "unecessary". The skies indeed are dark with the wings of chickens (and other pestilent wildfowl) come home to roost.

Speaking of half-cocked policies (see what I did there?) Labour are also in a flap about their new public smoking ban. It appears John Reid (former Health Minister) has been crowing about the fact he likes ciggie and hawked (ok, ok, I'll stop) a load of phlegm onto the new bill about smoking in pubs.

So smoking will now be banned presumably on the grounds of the immnse impact on health, but only in pubs where they serve food. The absence of food subtly alters the tar and nicotine molecules apparently, so they no longer become harmful in any other setting, and despite causing more deaths than all the class A drugs combined per year, Labour are still happy to collect tax on it.

Pro/anti smoking lobby aside, can anyone explain the governmental rationale behind this, 'cause I'll admit I'm struggling a bit. Sort of like their priorities on the last set of election promises. Pass on Education, Health, Crime, Benefits and Employment, but we'll sort of try and ban foxhunting (and cause a minor riot in the process). Mm-kay. . .

And never one to pass up an opportunity to kick a man when he's down (it's the safest way, after all) . . . a word about Blunkett.

Seems people are asking questions about his shares in a DNA testing company. Canny old Blunkett stands to make 45-285K from a 15 grand investment in DNA Bioscience, a company headed by Tariq Saddiqi.

Who he? Well he's the one who introduced Blunkett to Sally Anderson at Annabels . . . who promptly phoned all of the tabloids from her own mobile to tip them off to the relationship before entering into a kiss-'n'-tell negotiation with Max Clifford.

Interestingly, Blunkett was offered free membership to the club by the owner which he . . . oops! . . . forgot to declare on the Register of Member's Interests.

What a curious co-incidence . . . He's introduced to a society tart by a businessman with a history of debts, gets a freebie membership which he hides from Parliament and invests in a get-rich-quick scheme - declaring his shares but not the background to how he got them. This suddenly goes beyond Blunkett and his easily-led dick to something rather more sleazy altogether. And he's still in a job.

Also still to be gainfully employed are Karl Rove and Dick Cheney, who despite being implicated in the "outing" of a CIA officer (10 years in the Big House if guilty), will probably get one of those closed-door hearings and shuffle out of the public eye for a bit to spend more time swimming in the vast piles of cash generated by their business interests.

Meanwhile the two-thousandth US soldier dies in Iraq, and Bush is busy making threats at Iran and Syria, whilst Iran is threatening that Israel "should be wiped off the map" (not something that will go down well with the Atomic energy council reviewing their nuclear programme, I'm sure).

I'm so glad that as a coalition we have brought so much peace and stability to the Middle East . . . imagine the constant violence and bloodshed that would have occurred otherwise. Thank goodness we waited until now to oust Saddam, instead of when he was nerve-gassing villages.

Good job then, our moral institutions are ready to tackle some tough issues. The Anglicans are currently in a rift about letting bishop Gene Robinson even attending a London service because he's gay, and the Roman Catholics are keeping their heads down (and wallets hidden) whilst "sincerely apologising" to the latest spate of child abuse victims in the Diocese of of Ferns in County Wexford (" . . . one of the worst in the world for child abuse by priests" claims the 2 year investigation).

What is it with that Bible they are using? I can't find that version anywhere. You know, the one that says:

"And this I say unto you, love thy neighbour as thyself . . . except gays. Once it becometh unfashionable to pick on women, ethnic groups and the disabled, thou can always victimise some queers as My Father and I really can't stand them"

and

"Suffer the little children to come unto me . . . and bend over and pretend they are at the doctors and sayeth nothing to their parents for it is a secret and they would not understand and would get in trouble and taken away".

I've looked, you know . . . and I really can't find anything along those lines. Not even in Auchter Muchty. I'm looking for the one with the chapter on "List of Peoples for Whom it is right Pleasing to the Lord to Giveth a Kicking" because there's bound to be someone in there I can't stand and I want to feel all righteous while I'm being a bigot.